As former FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss puts it: “Compromise is often wearing one black shoe and one brown shoe.” You’ve made a deal, sure—but is it one anyone’s happy with? In Never Split the Difference, Voss turns the idea of compromise on its head and replaces it with something far more powerful: tactical empathy.
At its core, the book is about negotiation—but its lessons stretch far beyond boardrooms and sales calls. Whether you’re fundraising, managing a team, navigating family dynamics, or simply trying to get your toddler to bed on time, the tools Voss lays out are instantly applicable.
Tactical Empathy: More Than “I Hear You”
Tactical empathy isn’t about agreeing with the other person. It’s about deeply understanding their perspective—what they want, what they fear, what’s motivating them—and making sure they feel heard. Voss shows that once someone feels understood, their resistance drops, and true dialogue can begin.
Empathy doesn’t mean weakness. It means gathering information and building trust, which gives you more leverage, not less.
The Power of a Well-Timed Pause
Another key lesson? Silence is strategic. Voss demonstrates how slowing down a conversation and resisting the urge to fill space often leads to more revealing, honest responses. Whether you're asking a major donor for support or negotiating your toddler’s bedtime, a well-timed pause can do wonders.
Beyond Business
What makes Never Split the Difference so enduring is its universality. These are life tools. How to listen. How to persuade. How to keep your cool when emotions run high. And most of all—how to get to a real yes that works for both sides.
If you’re in the business of influence (and honestly, who isn’t?), this book belongs on your shelf.
